Are You Ready for the Big Time, Say, ’60 Minutes’?

By MERVIN BLOCK
November 17, 2008

Want to try out for 60 Minutes? CBS News may not be holding tryouts, but I am. Although CBS hasn’t authorized my tryout, it has been authorized by me: I’m in charge of this keyboard. Instead of a writing test, though, this tryout tests your ability to spot mistakes in the spoken word.

Here’s how you take my tryout: Note what’s wrong with each of these 24 excerpts from 60 Minutes. For your answers to count, please speak up before I do. Even if you’re not in the mood for a tryout, you may still be able to pick up a few tips.

“And the enormity of Obama’s grassroots field operation began to overwhelm the opposition.” (Nov. 9, 2008.) Enormity refers not to size but to great evil: “The enormity of the Darfur massacres is distressing.” The 60 correspondent probably meant immensity.

“And soon, he’d convinced the police chief to formally request his help from the Department of Justice.” (Nov. 2, 2008.) Rather than convinced, the script should have said persuaded. The rule: convince is usually followed by that or of; persuade is followed by to. I don’t make the rules, but I do try to obey them.

“We were with a unit when shots suddenly rang out….” (Oct. 19, 2008.) Shots rang out is a cliché. Suddenly? How else? Certainly not gradually.

“The gunman was dead, his body slumped in the nook where he’d been laying in wait.” (Oct. 19, 2008.) The gunman had been lying in wait. The correspondent needs to brush up on lie and lay. If a correspondent lies down on the job, the boss should lay down the law.

“And there was Sam Houston, who beat an opposing politician, literally throttled him with his cane.” (June 18, 2006.) Throttle means strangle; you don’t strangle someone by beating him. Maybe the correspondent meant thrash. And using literally there is littering. Literally adds nothing to the sentence except length.

“With the military struggling to fight two wars, there are growing calls to repeal the policy and growing evidence that some commanders could care less about sexual orientation.” (July 13, 2008.) The expression is “couldn’t care less.” If the commanders could care less, that would mean they still care.

“But the policy says openly gay soldiers are to be discharged, which is why Darren’s case and many more like it will surprise you.” (Dec. 16, 2007.) Don’t tell me what’ll surprise me or disturb me or alarm me or shock me; just tell me the story—without hype, without a cliché, without delay.

“He barely eked by until those so-called drip paintings started to sell in the early 1950s.” (May 17, 2007.) Eek! In old-time cartoon strips, when a woman spotted a mouse, the artist would have her shriek “eek.” Eke means to supplement with great effort or to get with great effort. When eke is followed by a preposition, it’s out. You can eke out a living, but you can’t eke by. With luck, you can squeak by.

“After years in Jordan, we found Hayder preparing his paperwork for his ninth interview with the officials….” (May 18, 2008.) The correspondent didn’t spend years in Jordan; “Hayder” did. But the correspondent said we spent years there. That grammatical mistake is akin to a dangling participle. The stylebook editor of the Wall Street Journal, Paul R. Martin, calls that kind of mistake a disjointed appositive. As a bartender might tell a troublemaker, “Stay away from disjoint.”

“He adopted rules for the safety of the fighters and got 21 states to sanction the fights.” (Dec. 10, 2006.) Sanction is a word that broadcasters should banish from their vocabulary. The problem is, the verb has contradictory meanings. Sanction means permit and also means punish.

“Sallie Mae disputes this, but studies by three different government agencies say it costs taxpayers about five times less per student loan.” (May 7, 2006.) Times means multiplied by: two times three is six. So five times less doesn’t make sense. It is correct to say “five times more.” Maybe the correspondent meant taxpayers shell out about one-fifth less on each student loan. Maybe. Also: no need for different; all agencies are different.

“The burdens of his command weigh heavy.” (Sept. 28, 2008.) Should be heavily, not heavy.

“They live on the edge of Adamiya, a violent neighborhood overtaken by hard-core insurgents and under constant attack by Shiite militias.” (April 22, 2007.) A copy editor should have undertaken to fix it. Should be taken over, not overtaken.

“So those bugs were susceptible to many antibiotics, but this petri dish contains M-R-S-A.” (Nov. 11, 2007.) Susceptible? Should be vulnerable.

“If it’s credible, you run afoul with the government….” (June 22, 2008.) Should be afoul of.

“But we’ve learned that he remained on the government payroll for 18 months and was only fired after we inquired about him.” (June 22, 2008.) That says he was only fired; he wasn’t hanged. So only in that sentence is a misplaced modifier. Script should say, “was fired only after we inquired.”

“The exact whereabouts of that money and the whereabouts of Mister Jumaili are presently unknown.” (June 17, 2007.) When the correspondent said presently he probably meant currently. Presently means soon. There’s no need for now or currently as long as you say the suspect’s whereabouts is unknown. Yes, is is the way to go. The stylebooks of the AP, Los Angeles Times, New York Times, Wall Street Journal and Washington Post all say whereabouts is used with a singular verb. And that’s the way it is.

“For almost a century it was emblematic of American industrial dominance, with a car for every customer and a brand for every strata of society.” (April 2, 2006.) The word needed is the singular of strata: stratum. But why not use the simple English word level?

“It’s the favorite subject at the Eagle Inn, just down the street from the union hall, where we shared a cup of coffee with retirees Steve Flood and Çlaude Eakins and current U-A-W workers Ron Splan and Matt Symons….” (April 2, 2006.) Shared? Five men sharing one cup?

“It’s become a huge subculture comprised mostly of young men that [make that who] spend more money on video games than they do on music or going to the movies.” (Aug. 6, 2006.) Comprised of is a no-no. The whole comprises the parts; the parts compose the whole.

“Factories, distribution centers and office parks sprung up….” (Nov. 19, 2006.) The past tense of spring is sprang.

“But mostly, as we reported last March, a self-confessed dog nut.” (July 15, 2007.) Only a person making a confession can confess. No one can confess for someone else. So self-confessed is redundant, incongruous and ludicrous. Besides, it’s excess baggage.

“Country music singer Kenny Chesney grew up in a Tennessee town of less than a thousand.” (Feb. 18, 2007.) Less should be fewer. Less should be used with something that can’t be counted; fewer should be used with anything that can be counted (except time and money). For example: Nowadays, you may use your car fewer days and buy less gas. (Less can also be used for speed and distance, says Prof. Michael Daniels of the Annenberg School of Journalism at the University of Southern California: “I got a speeding ticket even though I was going less than 60 miles an hour” and “It’s less than 100 miles to Santa Barbara.”)

“Why is it so unique?” (April 6, 2008.) Unique means one of a kind. Something is either unique or not unique. So nothing can be so unique, more unique, almost unique, or very unique. The correspondent would have been safe in saying so unusual.

If you identified all the problems in those excerpts, you’re more than ready for 60 Minutes. Maybe not as a million-dollar correspondent, but at least as a copy editor.

If you didn’t spot at least 15 problems, you fell short in the tryout. So you had better hit the books (particularly grammars)–and for more than 60 minutes. If at first you didn’t succeed, try out, try out again.

© Mervin Block 2008

Mervin offers more writing tips at mervinblock.com. And still more in one of his books, Writing Broadcast News—Shorter, Sharper, Stronger.

By MERVIN BLOCK
November 17, 2008

Want to try out for 60 Minutes? CBS News may not be holding tryouts, but I am. Although CBS hasn’t authorized my tryout, it has been authorized by me: I’m in charge of this keyboard. Instead of a writing test, though, this tryout tests your ability to spot mistakes in the spoken word.

Here’s how you take my tryout: Note what’s wrong with each of these 24 excerpts from 60 Minutes. For your answers to count, please speak up before I do. Even if you’re not in the mood for a tryout, you may still be able to pick up a few tips.

“And the enormity of Obama’s grassroots field operation began to overwhelm the opposition.” (Nov. 9, 2008.) Enormity refers not to size but to great evil: “The enormity of the Darfur massacres is distressing.” The 60 correspondent probably meant immensity.

“And soon, he’d convinced the police chief to formally request his help from the Department of Justice.” (Nov. 2, 2008.) Rather than convinced, the script should have said persuaded. The rule: convince is usually followed by that or of; persuade is followed by to. I don’t make the rules, but I do try to obey them.

“We were with a unit when shots suddenly rang out….” (Oct. 19, 2008.) Shots rang out is a cliché. Suddenly? How else? Certainly not gradually.

“The gunman was dead, his body slumped in the nook where he’d been laying in wait.” (Oct. 19, 2008.) The gunman had been lying in wait. The correspondent needs to brush up on lie and lay. If a correspondent lies down on the job, the boss should lay down the law.

“And there was Sam Houston, who beat an opposing politician, literally throttled him with his cane.” (June 18, 2006.) Throttle means strangle; you don’t strangle someone by beating him. Maybe the correspondent meant thrash. And using literally there is littering. Literally adds nothing to the sentence except length.

“With the military struggling to fight two wars, there are growing calls to repeal the policy and growing evidence that some commanders could care less about sexual orientation.” (July 13, 2008.) The expression is “couldn’t care less.” If the commanders could care less, that would mean they still care.

“But the policy says openly gay soldiers are to be discharged, which is why Darren’s case and many more like it will surprise you.” (Dec. 16, 2007.) Don’t tell me what’ll surprise me or disturb me or alarm me or shock me; just tell me the story—without hype, without a cliché, without delay.

“He barely eked by until those so-called drip paintings started to sell in the early 1950s.” (May 17, 2007.) Eek! In old-time cartoon strips, when a woman spotted a mouse, the artist would have her shriek “eek.” Eke means to supplement with great effort or to get with great effort. When eke is followed by a preposition, it’s out. You can eke out a living, but you can’t eke by. With luck, you can squeak by.

“After years in Jordan, we found Hayder preparing his paperwork for his ninth interview with the officials….” (May 18, 2008.) The correspondent didn’t spend years in Jordan; “Hayder” did. But the correspondent said we spent years there. That grammatical mistake is akin to a dangling participle. The stylebook editor of the Wall Street Journal, Paul R. Martin, calls that kind of mistake a disjointed appositive. As a bartender might tell a troublemaker, “Stay away from disjoint.”

“He adopted rules for the safety of the fighters and got 21 states to sanction the fights.” (Dec. 10, 2006.) Sanction is a word that broadcasters should banish from their vocabulary. The problem is, the verb has contradictory meanings. Sanction means permit and also means punish.

“Sallie Mae disputes this, but studies by three different government agencies say it costs taxpayers about five times less per student loan.” (May 7, 2006.) Times means multiplied by: two times three is six. So five times less doesn’t make sense. It is correct to say “five times more.” Maybe the correspondent meant taxpayers shell out about one-fifth less on each student loan. Maybe. Also: no need for different; all agencies are different.

“The burdens of his command weigh heavy.” (Sept. 28, 2008.) Should be heavily, not heavy.

“They live on the edge of Adamiya, a violent neighborhood overtaken by hard-core insurgents and under constant attack by Shiite militias.” (April 22, 2007.) A copy editor should have undertaken to fix it. Should be taken over, not overtaken.

“So those bugs were susceptible to many antibiotics, but this petri dish contains M-R-S-A.” (Nov. 11, 2007.) Susceptible? Should be vulnerable.

“If it’s credible, you run afoul with the government….” (June 22, 2008.) Should be afoul of.

“But we’ve learned that he remained on the government payroll for 18 months and was only fired after we inquired about him.” (June 22, 2008.) That says he was only fired; he wasn’t hanged. So only in that sentence is a misplaced modifier. Script should say, “was fired only after we inquired.”

“The exact whereabouts of that money and the whereabouts of Mister Jumaili are presently unknown.” (June 17, 2007.) When the correspondent said presently he probably meant currently. Presently means soon. There’s no need for now or currently as long as you say the suspect’s whereabouts is unknown. Yes, is is the way to go. The stylebooks of the AP, Los Angeles Times, New York Times, Wall Street Journal and Washington Post all say whereabouts is used with a singular verb. And that’s the way it is.

“For almost a century it was emblematic of American industrial dominance, with a car for every customer and a brand for every strata of society.” (April 2, 2006.) The word needed is the singular of strata: stratum. But why not use the simple English word level?

“It’s the favorite subject at the Eagle Inn, just down the street from the union hall, where we shared a cup of coffee with retirees Steve Flood and Çlaude Eakins and current U-A-W workers Ron Splan and Matt Symons….” (April 2, 2006.) Shared? Five men sharing one cup?

“It’s become a huge subculture comprised mostly of young men that [make that who] spend more money on video games than they do on music or going to the movies.” (Aug. 6, 2006.) Comprised of is a no-no. The whole comprises the parts; the parts compose the whole.

“Factories, distribution centers and office parks sprung up….” (Nov. 19, 2006.) The past tense of spring is sprang.

“But mostly, as we reported last March, a self-confessed dog nut.” (July 15, 2007.) Only a person making a confession can confess. No one can confess for someone else. So self-confessed is redundant, incongruous and ludicrous. Besides, it’s excess baggage.

“Country music singer Kenny Chesney grew up in a Tennessee town of less than a thousand.” (Feb. 18, 2007.) Less should be fewer. Less should be used with something that can’t be counted; fewer should be used with anything that can be counted (except time and money). For example: Nowadays, you may use your car fewer days and buy less gas. (Less can also be used for speed and distance, says Prof. Michael Daniels of the Annenberg School of Journalism at the University of Southern California: “I got a speeding ticket even though I was going less than 60 miles an hour” and “It’s less than 100 miles to Santa Barbara.”)

“Why is it so unique?” (April 6, 2008.) Unique means one of a kind. Something is either unique or not unique. So nothing can be so unique, more unique, almost unique, or very unique. The correspondent would have been safe in saying so unusual.

If you identified all the problems in those excerpts, you’re more than ready for 60 Minutes. Maybe not as a million-dollar correspondent, but at least as a copy editor.

If you didn’t spot at least 15 problems, you fell short in the tryout. So you had better hit the books (particularly grammars)–and for more than 60 minutes. If at first you didn’t succeed, try out, try out again.

© Mervin Block 2008

Mervin offers more writing tips at mervinblock.com. And still more in one of his books, Writing Broadcast News—Shorter, Sharper, Stronger.